May 16, 2008 | Life in General
CLICK ON ALL THE PICS FOR A BIGGER VIEW.
I met Michael in summer school, the summer before our senior year in high school.
Mr. Drama Queen
I was retaking Algebra (hurling sound inserted here) and he was taking something else, I don’t remember.
I don’t remember how were “officially” introduced but when all was said and done, he ended up calling me Sophie. He couldn’t remember my name, but he remembered—for some odd reason—that my glasses frames were Sophia Loren. And so, to him, I became known as Sophie. During that summer, we were inseparable. And I don’t mean inseparable like we couldn’t breathe without each other, but more like a Joey Potter/Dawson Leery kind of thing (before they got romantic, that is).
Me and Mike, bff
One summer day, we were so bored that we decided to put on some music and lip sync to it. It then escalated into a dance show. We were the hosts, Downtown Sophie Brown and Pepe Carrington and we decided to call the show ‘Dance Jam Productions.’
We hung out so much that both sets of parents thought we were dating. Our parents had never met, but mine thought he was a hoot and I got along pretty well with his mother (his father was a bit shy? Standoffish? Can’t come up with the right word). And for the longest time, his parents thought my name really was Sophie. He lived, like, three minutes from me and we rode to and from school together. He had the most fabulous sense of humor, he always had me laughing, and he wanted to be an actor. We had lunch together in the Drama building and his thespian friends and my two best friends (Angie and Nancy) eventually just melded into one big group. We even shared a class together: English. My favorite subject ever. He sat in front of me.
I used to call that his Quarterback Wink (l-r: Angie, Mike, Nancy)
When we had spelling tests, he would come over to my house to study and we’d practice putting the words into sentences. I remember one of the words was “prodigious.” LOL. You can imagine how he used that word in a sentence. Of course, when I came across it the next day during class, and chuckled, he knew.
Halfway through the school year, we were hanging out one night at his house. Just me and him.
“Soph, I have to tell you something. I’m gay,” he said…
I was stunned.
Let me back up…at first he said he was bisexual. Because like every guy that comes out of the closet later in life, he tried dating females. Later on, he admitted that he was no longer bisexual, but gay.
Regardless, I was still stunned.
“I’m. Too sexy for this hat”. Notice the CMB Poster? I used to be a HUGE fan of Color Me Badd
I went home and told my parents. My Mom had known. And I couldn’t help but think, “How the hell can you know? I didn’t even know.” He did a bang-up job of hiding it. I was used to seeing the all-out, flamboyant, hands-on-hips, limp hand, feminine lisp gay guy and Mike was the total opposite of that. In fact, he hated guys like that.
I cried all night.
Distanced myself from him for about three days (which was hard to do since we had a class together). I went thru the “Why my friend?” “Why him?” Why was God doing this?” phase.
And then I was over it.
Once he told everyone else–including his parents (even though his mother took it better than his father, he wasn’t kicked out)–I could tell that it was like a huge burden had been lifted off his shoulders. When we graduated, and our group went their separate ways, Michael and I ended up at commmunity college together. The dynamics of our relationship had changed on a very slight scale, but we were still best friends. He was making new friends in the gay community and it was like he was finally free. After the first semester, he switched to NAU, I think. For a while. And then we started to drift apart.
This was taken at Ed Debevic’s. Very cool place to eat. l-r: Angie, Jesse, Murf (aka Margaret. She was so short, she looked like a Smurf), Mike
He would call the house every once in a while to check in. He would joke that he would be able to call the same number in Scottsdale and I would still be there. As it happened, I lived with my parents until they kicked me out at 25. So yes, ironically enough, every time he called, he would find me there.
Years went by and I lost track of him. He moved around so much. Within AZ and around California. The one time we finally hooked up, I cried when I saw him. We stood there, in front of the Starbucks and Park Central Mall, and I hugged the hell out of him. And cried. It was so good to see him, to hear about his life, about how and what he was doing. When we were in high school, I’d told him I’d write about that one summer day.
Taken our senior year ‘89. All my buds together. l-r: Angie, Mike, Me, Nancy
And I did. I dedicated the book to him and gave him a copy.
The last time we spoke, it was around the time I had got engaged (2005, early 2006). He was living in Omaha, Nebraska then and we talked for over an hour. Of course, I invited him to the wedding. He said he wouldn’t miss it for the world.
He missed it.
His black Volkwagen Beetle (sound familiar?) needed repairs, so he couldn’t afford the plane ticket.
On the news today, Ellen Degeneres announced that she was getting married. I was once again reminded that gay marriages are now legal in California.
And I was reminded of Michael.
How much I missed him. How long it’s been since I’ve spoken to him. How long it’s been since I’ve seen him. His birthday is the day before mine (GEMINI’S RULE!) and I would love to do for him, what I do for all my friends and family on their birthdays: call them up and sing a cheesy lounge version of Happy Birthday. LOL.
He is my one and only gay friend. Not by choice, just circumstance.
Michael, I just want you to know that I still think about you. And not just on your birthday. I miss your friendship and the way you made me laugh all the time.I hope that you’re doing well, that you’re still on this Earth making some other “fag hag” laff her ass off. I hope that you’re in a great relationship, that you have a good–if not great–job and that you’re celebrating this momentous event.
And if you ever decide to get married, I hope you remember to put your friend Sophie on the guest list.
Cuz I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Technorati Tags: Sophia Loren, Dance Jam Productions, Color Me Badd, NAU, Ed Debevic’s, Smurf, Starbucks, Park Central Mall, Ellen Degeneres
draven says:
lol. i luv the pic where hes wearing the hat and looks like hes dancing. he was dancing, right? i hope you reconnect with him soon.
Celise says:
Draven - There wasn’t any music, but I’m pretty sure he was dancing to something he hummed up on the spot. LOL. I have to admit that while I was writing this post, I cried a little. Especially when I found all the pics. It seems like it was such a long time ago. And out of all the friends I had in school, he’s the one I wish I was still in contact with. Maybe he’ll see this post and contact me. Or maybe I’ll do a little digging myself.
Rinda says:
I love this story. (You are so tiny!)
My daughter and I celebrated on the day of the California decision. One step closer to less hate.