Archive for the '“Whoa whoa I gotta go…back to schoooool…again”' Category

July 27, 2010 | "Whoa whoa I gotta go...back to schoooool...again",3rd Semester,A Whole Latte Trouble,Book Two,Creative Writing II,Draven Atreides,Draven Atreides, Teenage Informant Series,Life in General,Prescott College,Revision Hell,School Daze,Summer 2010,The 4-1-1 on Me,Writer Moment,Writing Movements

Missed two days of writing last week, but I still got 16 handwritten pages in. The rest of it was previously written material. Not too bad. Not sure how many typewritten pages that turned out to be, but I was able to submit the 1st 30 pages for my CWII class. Here’s hoping I have better movement this week

July 14, 2010 | "Whoa whoa I gotta go...back to schoooool...again",3rd Semester,A Whole Latte Trouble,Book Two,Creative Writing II,Draven Atreides,Draven Atreides, Teenage Informant Series,Life in General,Prescott College,Revision Report,School Daze,Summer 2010,The 4-1-1 on Me,Writer Moment,Writing Movements

I’ve started the revision process for Book 2 yesterday for my CWII class. 4 pages yesterday, 3 pages today. I don’t consider that bad. My goal, whenever I’m in Writing Mode, is to write at least a page.

Normally, I would be doing this on my breaks and at lunch. But since I have two other classes, I’m writing during my hr lunch. Not so much at home. Yet.

The 1st 30 pages are due next Thursday. Hoping to have a better day tomorrow.

July 14, 2010 | "Whoa whoa I gotta go...back to schoooool...again",3rd Semester,Adv Children's Lit,Prescott College,Reading is FUNdamental,Road Trip Wednesday

Road Trip Wednesday is a “Blog Carnival”, where YA Highway‘s contributors post a weekly writing or reading-related question and answer it in on our own blogs. You can hop from destination to destination and get everybody’s unique take on the topic.

You’re more than welcome to participate! Just answer the question on your own blog, and leave a link to it in their comments.

Topic #37: What’s your favorite reading memory?

My favorite reading memories involve being read to. I’m currently reading Mem Fox’s READING MAGIC: WHY READING ALOUD TO OUR CHILDREN WILL CHANGE THEIR LIVES FOREVER for my ACL class. I have to write a documented essay on the importance of reading and thought how appropriate this was for this week’s RTW.

Mrs Yates.

5th grade.

Huffaker Elementary School

Reno, NV.

She was a little heavy-set, short in height, with hair dyed a light reddish tinge. She always wore too much make-up (rougey cheeks, vampire-white foundation, caked-on mascara, bright red lipstick) and ate tuna fish sandwiches or sardines. My best memory of this woman was when she read to us. By the end of the day, her lipstick had worn off to the point where all that was left was the lip liner. LOL. For some reason that fascinated me and occasionally I would watch her lips move. She would take off her shoes and walk up and the down aisles. I would close my eyes and let my senses take over:

The swish of her pantyhose.

The faint scent of her “old lady” perfume.

The jangle of her bracelets.

The rhythmic turning of the pages (she used to lick her finger before turning them).

The hypnotic up and down cadence of her voice.

I don’t remember any of the books she read to us, but she was amazing at reading them aloud.

Another read-aloud memory:

Mrs. Hornbaker

7th grade

Cocopah Middle School

Scottsdale, AZ

Short in stature, short gray hair, somewhat mannish (now that I think back on it, she was probably gay), blue eyes that bulged a bit, round cheeks that sounded like she was holding something in them every time she spoke. She too used to walk up and down the aisles as she introduced us to S.E. Hinton’s THE OUTSIDERS.

I’m addicted to books now. Totally. Addicted. If I had a stack of books, I could read all damn day. I have, in fact, done that at one time or another. This is, in part, thanks to my parents. But I also have to give credit to teachers like Mrs. Yates and Mrs. Hornbaker who made it even more enjoyable on a different level.

Technorati Tags: Road Trip Wednesday, YA Highway, Mem Fox, READING MAGIC: WHY READING ALOUD TO OUR CHILDREN WILL CHANGE THEIR LIVES FOREVER, Huffaker Elementary School, Reno, NV, Cocopah Middle School, Scottsdale, AZ, S.E. Hinton, THE OUTSIDERS

June 16, 2010 | "Whoa whoa I gotta go...back to schoooool...again",3rd Semester,Creative Writing II,Life in General,Mentors,Prescott College,School Daze,Summer 2010,The 4-1-1 on Me

So, I’ve talked about my Creative Writing II (a.k.a. CWII) mentor’s feedback regarding the first 100 pages. Well, for the first assignment, I had to go chapter by chapter and define the major plot and the subplot. The first 100 pages is 9 chapters and the first few pages in chapter 10. Not even halfway into this exercise, I wanted to stop.

Subplot was winning.

And then the doubts crept in.

I stink.

I suck.

I’m doing this wrong.

I can’t turn this in, my teacher is going to laugh her ass off.

At this point, I’m going to have to write on a piece of paper

THIS IS ONLY A FIRST DRAFT

and hang it in front of me as a reminder.

I have a feeling Georgia is going to be both teacher and cheerleader.

June 10, 2010 | "Whoa whoa I gotta go...back to schoooool...again",3rd Semester,A Whole Latte Trouble,Book Two,Creative Writing II,Life in General,Mentors,Movie Queue,Prescott College,School Daze,Summer 2010,The 4-1-1 on Me,Writer Moment

It’s the second week of school and I got feedback from my mentor regarding the first 100 pages of Book 2 earlier this week.

The story lacks focus. You say your main plot is about the investigation into this fellow yet from what I can nearly 100 pages in, Draven has does very little to show the reader that she is this awesome, kick-ass informant. We see much more of her at school or with her friends just talking about “stuff” that is arguably sub-plot and fails to move the main plot along.

I see very little tension at all in the book. I assume as a reader that a book which focuses on a sleuth will have elements of tension, danger not only from the investigation itself but from Draven’s cover being blown. I also assume that in her role, she will make enemies. So, that also adds to the danger/tension. But I see none here. In fact, she is just hanging out like nothing is going on at all.

So, that is the plot, sub-plot and story-telling side.

There are some issues with redundancy and consistency. I’ve highlighted them in some cases and made comments on others.

There are cases when I feel the dialogue is forced. Some pages of dialogue go on for too long and fail to move the story to the next level.

Also it is hard in some places to know who’s talking in your dialogue exchanges. Watch for it.

Consider your pop-culture references and how they might date you as an author and how a reader may take that reference. There are many. While they may be funny to you, your readers are teens today.

Consider your use of stereo-typical representation of Hispanic youth. “Chica, Chiquita, etc.” Just make sure that you are 100% comfortable with these references and they are genuine.

There’s a scene in CLUELESS where Brittany Murphy’s character said something hurtful to Alicia Silverstone and Alicia responded with, “That’s way harsh, TY.” That line was running through my head after reading this. LOL.

But I have to remember that it’s a first draft. The novel, not the feedback.

It’s not going to be good the first time. Nor is it going to be good the second, third, or fourth time.

It’s a story that I completed some time last year and then promptly put away because I didn’t want to look at it anymore. It was a hard write. Then I pulled it out—I don’t remember when—and started editing it. I got midway through Chapter 8 before putting it away to start Book 3 (NaNoWriMo 2009 Fail).

I wish this was the only class I was taking this summer, because I won’t be as focused on the process as I normally would be. The revisions won’t be as good as I want them to be, or should be. Yeah, I know it was my bright idea to create a book revision college course, but even though my concentration is going to be pulled in three different directions, I still expect this to be a learning experience I can carry through to future books.

Technorati Tags: CLUELESS, Brittany Murphy, Alicia Silverstone